TECHNOLOGICAL MADNESS!
Or
WELCOME TO THE MAZE
Late last year I finally caught up with the newest technology and got myself a cell phone. I had two reasons for breaking down and catching up with the rest of the world: First, my landline company was way overcharging me for basic service that did not even include long distance and, second, my experience staying in my auto with two cats and no means of getting information during my evacuation from the Carr Fire here in Redding taught me a lesson I will never forget. So, I bit the bullet, bought the danged cell phone, went through hell figuring out how to use it (good God! So many bells and whistles, and what the heck is an APP and what is it for?), and told my landline telephone company to shove their highway robbery service where the sun doesn’t shine. My cell phone includes internet and long distance and all kinds of cool stuff like a (gasp) camera, and all for $20 less per month than my landline!
Now that I had emerged from my so 20th Century cave, I felt pretty good about myself as I navigated through all the bells and whistles, apps, video, and countless other surprises in this technological marvel.
And then disaster struck. One night I needed to call an ambulance. My 911 service did not work!
What the fudge???!!!???
The fact that I’m still alive typing up this little story tells you I ended up driving my poor decrepit self to the hospital where they rushed me through the ER and connected me to all their medical bells and whistles. So… I am still here to annoy people another day.
I spent the next weeks weaving my way through the maze of the dreaded telephone menu in search of a human being to solve my problem. My phone carrier’s telephone menu took me over ten minutes to get through, at which point I reached another menu that promised a real live human would pick up if I was willing to wait the estimated ten or so minutes until a human was available. During that time they assaulted me with commercials and offers to make my life truly wonderful by adding on all their accessories and— if I didn’t want to wait, I could call them on a different number on another phone (like I have another phone handy), and then… they hung up on me!
You know those cartoons of people so enraged that steam is shooting out their ears? Well, that was me. Not just once, mind you, but four times. It took me five tries over two months to finally connect with a human. Unfortunately, that human could not solve my problem although they assured me they had. Nope. Still no 911. Try Number Six and the assistance of a good friend and her cell phone for back-up finally brought me the solution and restored my service.
Bloody hell. What is it with these corporations? Once upon a time a person could dial (yes, dial) one number, and speak immediately to a real human who immediately directed your call to another real human who solved your problem or whatever the issue that needed resolving. I miss those days.
I hate telephone menus. I hate that corporations are too tight-fisted to hire a person instead of a bot or recording they don’t have to pay. There used to be a day when people actually had jobs answering phones.
Thank God there is still a live person answering at 911 Dispatch. Can you imagine how messy things would be without them? I found that out when my cell phone could not connect to that person.
We are living in increasingly dangerous times when we need the comfort and expertise of a fellow human being more than ever.
Write a comment